In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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