At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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