she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
