it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
