You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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