I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
