I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
