Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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