I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
