its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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