Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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