we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
