Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
