Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Drunk is not a location!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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