I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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