We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
