the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
