yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
