i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We have started to decorate penises.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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