If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love having hate sex.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
