Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize