i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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