I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
