And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize