talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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