just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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