let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
