Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
