the day after is always just damage control
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
