Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
