Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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