spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
