No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
