I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
