oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When are your genitals available?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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