just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize