Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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