yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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