Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
