He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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