I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
