Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
not ubering you a puppy
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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