He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
