i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
