no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
