Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
