It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize