I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
