everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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