Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
