he puts the penis in happiness.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
