Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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