dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
