pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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