That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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