her vagine was all disorganized.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
