How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
